


Drown Out the Din

by fencecollapsed



Series: Half-Infected Paul [6]
Category: The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals - Team StarKid
Genre: Angst, Dissociation, F/M, Half Infected Paul Matthews, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Overstimulation, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:42:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27052858
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencecollapsed/pseuds/fencecollapsed
Summary: Paul stands at the edge of the rushing creek, the music in his ears deafening. He's overwhelmed, exhausted, and he wishes he could make it stop.For Hatchetober Day 16: Water
Relationships: Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins
Series: Half-Infected Paul [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718695
Comments: 5
Kudos: 55





	Drown Out the Din

**Author's Note:**

> I tagged this as best as I could with AO3's established tags, the bane of my existence is mobile keyboards not allowing me to create my own. Paul has impulsive, self-destructive thoughts in this.

Water rushed below Paul's feet.

He stood at the edge of Clear Creek with his toes hovering over the current, having diverted off the trail onto the rocks. He teetered, swaying back and forth on a precarious rhythm, bright blue eyes trained in a trance on the flow of the water. 

He wanted the music to stop.

He  _ needed _ the music to stop.

He felt like his brain was melting out of his ears. Everything blared inside his skull, a cacophony of orchestral chaos  _ begging _ him to move, to sing along. All he did was continue to sway to the drum thumping painfully in his chest. Water crashed in waves over the rocks like the cymbals in his head, splashing over his shoes. Paul didn't blink. He didn't flinch.

The water was cool, he could feel it seeping into his socks. It tempted him, the erratic nature of the current. Following an unpredictable rhythm unlike any song. The creek was unbound. The creek never had to worry about losing control. The creek flowed as it wished. Paul envied it.

His heel lifted, tapping as he teetered. For a brief few moments the excited shrieks of children riding the current on rafts joined the company in his head before passing. Paul could see them round the bend from the corner of his eye. He remained staring, the white bubbles of the crashing waves folding over each other intently, disturbed by its passengers. Blood dripped from Paul's nose. Stained his closed lips blue. Rolled down his chin. Fell into the water and washed away just as fast. Paul rocked a little faster. Watched every drop of blood disappear into the creek. The sound of the rushing water filled his head and his eyes fell shut for a moment. It flowed through his brain, briefly drowning the melody in his ears. Or harmonizing with it. Behind his eyes the clear water turned blue, swirling in the current, a vortex of cerulean song pulling him in as the music crashed back into his ears.

Paul's eyes snapped open. The water beneath him was clear.

He couldn't stop rocking.

He wanted to drown it again.

He  _ needed _ to drown it again.

Blue blood dripped in rhythm with his pounding heart and washed away in the creek, winding and sweeping down the bend. Maybe it could wash his head clean. Drown the music in the rushing water. His feet stuttered on the rocks. He tipped forward towards the salvation of the current.

A hand grabbed his shoulder from behind, pulling him back from the edge. A pair of arms wrapped around him, grounding him as he stumbled.

"Paul,"

He blinked. A volume dial turned down in his head, just a little. "Em- _ maaa," _

She guided him to face her. He swayed, unsteady on his feet, his vision hazy and blue. Strands of hair stuck to Emma's forehead with sweat, her eyes wide and frantic, but when she spoke her voice was gentle.

"Hey, look at me."

She held his face in her hands, sending warmth through his skin. He looked at her. 

Brown eyes deep and soft and warm. Light freckles dusting her olive skin. Dark brown hair falling loose around her face from her ponytail. Soft hands, thumb brushing gently over his cheek. She huffed, out of breath, but gave a small smile up at him.

The music quieted a little more. The blue shading Paul's vision lifted, dimming the brightness. He could see her more clearly. The warmth of her eyes melting through cold of his. He sniffed. His knees buckled. He flung his arms around her. Emma quickly returned the embrace, squeezing him tight. She hummed, rubbing slow circles into his back, and felt him relax around her. She stepped back to hold up his weight.

"Let's go home," she said, "Okay?"

"Okay."

Emma took Paul's hand, lacing their fingers together, and they walked back up onto the trail.

Paul could still hear the water rushing in his ears.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! <3


End file.
